13 stories and 79 poems on the theme of connection, searching, found or misplaced. Something for everyone. 18+ but nothing overtly offensive. Even your grandmother could read it.
Signed or personally scribed copies available. Makes for a perfect gift this Christmas!
In-between '98 and 2000, Sally and I created some silly and sometimes awesome60 Second Theatre videos. Little skits that were meant for friends and family in the days before the internet. (Before video hit the internet anyway).
One of them was lost to time. The edited version being on VHS. Somehow it was misplaced and forgotten about, for over twenty years.
After Sally passed away, I began getting old tapes transferred and came across the original footage. I had to put it back together again.
So, here it is. Unfortunate that Sal couldn't see it but she did see it at the time.
With the sudden passing of my dear friend (and once girlfriend), Sally, all sorts of emotions hit me. Shock for the first two days, then constant grief. Crying ten times a day. A feeling of emptiness and like a chunk of my body/soul/existence had been ripped out. You know how it feels.
One of the more significant emotions for me, was regret. Why hadn't I made more effort to see her in recent years? Or even a phone call? (She got married in 2019 and I chose to stay clear but we still messaged a lot). Still, she had invited me down to see her before then and I never went. (Parental responsibilities, distance and work made that difficult. Excuses though, right?)
Why did I break up with her in the first place? She was the best person I've ever been with, but I was too inexperienced, really just immature, to know how good she was. I mean, of course I knew that she was awesome or we would never have gotten together at all. (We lived together for three years). I was selfish and stupid. She wanted marriage and children. I didn't. It didn't work out but I will always have regret.
Do you have regrets?
Can we live a life without them?
Some say that you should have no regrets. In fact, there are countless clichés about it. Yet, how can that be? Is life lived perfectly? If you're a decent human being, surely you regret something you did or said. Or didn't say or didn't do. If we don't have regrets, how can we learn to approach a situation differently the next time around?
I've got a stack.
I wrote this poem while I was in Tasmania, two nights before I went to Sally's wake.
Face the Foe, Not Forego
Why does regret sting like defeat?
Its tendrils digging deep as death.
An apt comparison
As it sits alongside the unchangeable
The finality of dying
Is the same
As the passing of time
Memories
Are of moments passed
Actions unalterable.
Yet, it’s the emotions
That continue to flow
They can be relived
Prompted
By a smile in a photograph
The laughter in a video
These have the power
To reignite the same.
Feelings
Of events long solidified
Have the ability
To shift and grow
And carry to fresh heights
And crush to unfamiliar despair.
Regret lives on
Able to re-punish
In the way
That mourning
Never ends.
We are unwise
To turn our backs on regret
And for that matter,
It’s sibling, guilt.
They flex and merge
And resurge.
When you think
They’re not worthy
That is when
They are at their strongest.
Regret runs deeps
Entrenched firmly in your soul
Listen to its language
Unravel its message
Or suffer its strike
In surprise.
3.2.22 12.15 am
Regret, especially after a person in question has died, is almost pointless. We can still learn lessons. But we cannot undo the past. And that's a fucking hard thing to live with.
I will live on with these regrets. I can't help it. I will never forget Sally. I'm also very grateful that she chose to forgive me for ending our relationship in 2001 and for being so close with me for another 21 years. Sal was one of the most significant relationships of my entire life. Perhaps the most, because she was just such a rare, happy, loving person. More than that. Probably the most wonderful human being I've ever met.
What are your regrets? What do you think about all of this? Do you carry guilt? Or do you bury it? Or am I overthinking the whole thing?
Sally's ashes were scattered in Blackman's Bay, Tasmania on 4/4/22 by her husband Michael and her family.
After that a Sally-bration, as her younger brother Dan put it, was held at her house up the hill.
There was some fantastic speeches and the family kindly opened the mike to anyone who wanted to say something. I was torn about whether I should say something but ultimately did read out the poem I had written for her. I felt so blessed to be able to do that. And to be there to share the beauty of Sal's life as well as the heartache of her passing.
As Dan gave his speech, this amazing ray of light shone. The sun was in my eyes so I didn't notice it until I saw the photo much later. It's not in the other photos. Perhaps reading into it but it feels like Sal was there.
Belonging – She and Us
There are some people
Though few in number
Whose spirit is so luminous
They attract others
Like burgeoning life to light.
You were that person
And that essence
Somehow remained intact
Despite all the unjust trauma
Down through the years.
You had finally found love again
And yet, you were already
So universally loved
By every person you met
And you gave so much of it
To others.
If there was a single word
To describe you
It would be Love
Pure and simple.
You had more genuine, beautiful relationships
Than anyone known
You never left a friend behind
You took them with you
And now we are forced to stay behind
To watch you go without us.
You were the last
We ever wanted to lose
Even when the first writings
Appeared on the wall
We turned our heads
And refused to read.
Sal,
We will search for you
In the drifting lights
We will whisper to you
In the shadow of our nights
And remember your strength
When we are weak.
We will gaze
Into your beloved Southern Stars
Where hope and dreams and eternity exist
And we will find you there
In the brightness you embody
And know,
That you have found home.
For Sal, Love always Tony - 30/01/22
(I will release a book of poetry and stories later in '22 which I will dedicate to Sal).
Condolences to her parents, Armando and Jenny (who donated her kidney to Sal, gifting her 25 years of life).
Her older brother Stephen, who did so much for Sal throughout her life, and his wonderful wife Gillian, and their children Louie and Estella, who Sally loved so much. (I think that's Louie in the photo. I was with her then. 2000/2001).
And of course, her younger brother Danny, whom she shared a special bond. They were so funny together. Two peas in a pod. Just a really beautiful relationship.
To all her family and many friends. And to her dear husband Michael, who has lost his beloved partner.
It was a beautiful day, despite the pain. The weather was perfect. The memories shared were really wonderful. It was as though we'd all had the same experiences with Sal. She made everyone feel like her best friend. It was as though only they mattered. It was her way. And as mentioned in the poem, she took everyone with her. She made her friends, her family.
She invited everyone into Sally's world. And loved them. And never let go.
As her dad said at the beach, she was one in a million. There really are so few people like her in this world. I've personally never met anyone like her and won't again. Perhaps now, we can carry the legacy of her spirit into our futures. Enjoy every moment. Keep love and laughter alive in your heart and share it with all you can. Treat people decently. Never let family go. These might seem obvious but how many of us actually practice it often?
Sal certainly did. We are all blessed to have known her.
Sally Jones (Corvini) passed away Jan. 26th, 2022. She was 48.
She never left a friend behind.She took them with her.
I've never known anyone to have so many friends. She had a genuine heart. She cared and loved people. She really was quite unique. Just a beautiful soul.
Sally had a kidney transplant, donated from her mother. It lasted well over twenty years but had just failed. She'd had many health problems over the years, due to the immno-suppressant drugs to keep her body from rejecting her kidney. This made her vulnerable to other conditions. She was in and out of hospital many times and hated it but pushed on. She was forced to retire from work from the ABC roughly five years ago.
Long story but the kidney had finally failed and she had just started back on dialysis.
With my sister, Jacinta, approx. '99.
She'd had a brain aneurism about four years before. We thought we might lose her then. And she'd had lots of problems since but she was amazingly stoic and never lost her spirit. Anyone who knew her says the same thing. That she was a beautiful soul.
With Tilly and Sal's brother Dan - 2014
Fortunately, she found love and finally married in 2019. She got to have a few years of happiness with her beloved Michael. She had just come home from hospital. She'd felt good the night before. She was on the couch. Her husband, with his own health problems, went back to bed and when he got up at 11, she had passed away. We are grateful that she died at home. And that she was not alone. She deserved that.
We were in a relationship for several years from 1998, the year we met while working at the ABC in Melbourne. We went out on a date one night and I had so much fun with her that I was hooked. She had a magnetic personality.
We lived together at her flat in Elwood, then moved to a house in Evans St. Port Melbourne. I have so many videos of those days. Looking back, she was the best person I'd ever been with. The best human being. I didn't appreciate her enough. I was too immature. I left after three years. I was an idiot for doing so. Fortunately, she made sure she was never out of my life. She's always been with me.
Anyway, we made a few videos. They are hilarious. I've posted four below. And a story from 2011 that was dedicated to her (more on that below).
We stayed in touch. We were never out of touch. She supported my writing, my online profiles and my books. She was a member of my Facebook Author Page and last year she decided she wanted to contribute regularly, (as I usually did the posting). Which she did.
She was very close to my family. She spoke to my mother only the afternoon before. (She called her, her second mum). And messaged me just two days before. She was upset that I hadn't commented on her recent post about being in hospital. I'm not a big social media user and just hadn't seen it. There was a 100 hundred comments there. Yet, she noticed I wasn't. That says something. I apologised and then went and left a comment.
She messaged me again on the Monday morning.
My kidney is failing. I'm back on dialysis starts bawling x
Sorry, I thought Marg or Hel would have told you x
It was the last communication we had.
The short story, Flipping the Stone was dedicated to Sal. It was written in 2008 and I published it in 2011. I emailed it to everyone who bought my first book, Bottomless River.
What happens in it, is a metaphor for the trauma her body had suffered.
Sal in the centre, as she always was, the spiritual centre of any group.
With my mother, father, grandmother, auntie, brother and sister. (and a couple of ex's).
(approx. 2000)
As you can see, we had a lot of fun. I have a lot of photos and footage of her. I've always taken a lot of photos of friends etc but began doing a lot of video too from the mid 90's onwards, documenting, in many ways, the lives of those around me. I have a lot more footage, much that I've never seen. I may make some more videos. I think I'll keep that for family. We'll see.
Beautiful Sal. She really was, one of a kind. We all miss her. We'll always love her.
