The Best Worst Christmas Movie of All Time!

 

So Terrible it's utter genius.

Best Xmas movie ever!

You'll be laughing too, except at them, not with.
(That's Pia Zadora in the middle)

Even the blockhead Droppo can't beleive how bad the script is.
(Ironically, one of the few actors to actually go on and have a career). 

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. 1964

(Also known as Santa Claus Versus the Martians)

I've watched it every year (at least once) for twenty years straight. Absolutely hilarious! Always finding something new to laugh at. A classic!

'Oh me, on my!' Mrs Claus and the elves are 'frozen'
by the Martians, just before Santa is kidnapped.
The performance by Mrs Claus alone is worth watching. Her laughter is insane!

The children of Mars are without humour or fun, programmed with too much tech (a premonition for today), and so a group of Martians decided to set off for Earth to kidnap Santa to bring some joy back home.

It is a kid's film so some of it is supposed to be funny but it's funny in all the wrong places. The humour is so terrible that it has to be seen to be beleived. Some terrible one liners. Shocking acting. Terrible sets and action (the polar bear and Robot are particularly bad), but the whole thing just has so many terrible moments that it's actually extremely entertaining. If you can laugh your way through a film, it's worth every second.

Torg, the scariest man in a cardboard box Robot ever depicted on screen!

It's a staple film in our household and has been played every Christmas since first 'discovering' it on SBS around 2005. So that means I've seen it at least twenty times as some years we played it twice! I swear every time I watch it, I discover some other hilarious moment.

Short YouTube Trailer

Frighteningly realistic North Pole set, along with a frighteningly realistic robot!

Do yourself a favour and make it a must watch. It's only 80 mins and is seriously some of the best entertainment you'll ever see. It's harmless of course so you can't hate on it but instead, find it endearing in its own unique, terrible way.

Ah, they'll never find us in the Radar Box!

Worth noting it stars a young Pia Zadora who, twenty years later would be starring in some fairly bad risque films, like Butterfly (1981) and The Lonely Lady (1983) thanks to her rich husband who funded the films. Unlike her clothes in these films, her career never took off.

The entire film was shot in just 4 days at Michael Myerberg Studios, a converted aircraft hangar at Roosevelt Field in Long Island, New York. It's now a shopping mall. Explains some of the terrible staging. 4 days is actually quite remarkable! 

End Credits Theme Song, 
Also a Classic!
Look at those inventive lyrics!

Watch Santa & the Martians for FREE on YOUTUBE

It has a huge cult following.

You'll be in too, once you watch it!

"I'll blow-wave you to death, Santy!"
Zoldar, the funniest villian ever.

Is it a bad time of year? What are your plans for Christmas?

 

'It's beginning to look a lot like...'

Ah STFU. 

At this time of year, we're all supposed to be oh so happy and love it, but let's be honest, Christmas isn't for everyone. For some it's just plain shitty. For others, its desperately depressing. 

She may have destroyed a whole family, but at least she's smiling.

If it's diverse, it's gotta be good!

A good reason for the bottle.  At least they're honest!  Families can suck!

What's it mean to you? 

What are your plans this year?

Watch the New Trailer on YouTube

My Books are all on Sale!

Get in quick, just in time!

Australia only. Too late for overseas. 

Apologies to the millions waiting 🤣

At least one of them had sense

Oh, what am I doing? Thanks for asking . All of my family are in Victoria and I'm in N.S.W. so I have no plans, other than my daughter will be coming Christmas evening. It'll just be her and I over the break. Or should I say, her, her laptop and I .  I may be working the week before NYE, I don't know. So at least I won't be totally alone over Christmas but I know many will be. 

Tell me what you'll be up to. It's nice to share.

Have a good week.

Peace.

Anthony

Anthony J. Langford Books | Australian writer

Best Songs of 2025

Thank you

 

Happy Christmas - Wherever you are in life, may you find some peace. If not, joy at this time.

In Space, No One can Hear Your Sleigh

It's not always great for everyone. Especially as we age and lose people and our health. If not, remember the times that were good. There were many.

Thank you for your support this year, those few who have interacted with this site and me. 

Thank you. 

May the year to come be a good one for you. 

Peace

Anthony

A.J. Langford Books

Merry Christmas and Thank You

 

I simply wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you if you engaged with these posts in any way in 2023. You know who you are.

If you have a little downtime this festive season, I have plenty of videos on my YouTube Channel including the cheeky video story, Fabulous Flaw Finding Phil.

If you're after some great new tunes, I also have my Best Music of 2023 Playlist HERE.

Also there's free downloads, short films and other videos on my website HERE

I'm contemplating scaling back these posts in 2024. So few people engage with them and they're a lot of work. I'm also into my final year (hopefully) of tapering off anti-depressants and it gets harder as I get to lower doses. (Full story HERE). I have little enthusiasm and struggle with the everyday. Plus my girlfriend has health issues so that's my main focus now.

I was thinking about publishing a children's novel in 2024, a fantasy called Borders of Bordavia. It's finished. It's a great book. I just don't think I have the ability to do what's required. Not until I'm free of this drug. Hopefully the old me will return in 2025. 

I'll have one more post before year's end.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Top 5 Songs of 2017 and Festive Wishes

Another year over and we're all still here.
Well, not all of us, but there are certainly more of us!

I hope you had a decent year. We can't always be on top, but I hope that you were mostly happy.
Our public faces are often the bravest ones. On the surface it may look like I've had a great year with a book out, but still struggle as I always have with a few things which I won't go into and buck the current trend of airing all my issues, playing victim and waiting for sympathy.
(Shit, where did that come from?)

Still, we push forward and if we can't push, we get dragged along anyway as there's only one direction and I really hate that band for ruining the expression.

Onwards and upwards my friend!

Merry Christmas.

Top 5 Songs

In no particular order.
Another 20 songs could have made this list, but I'll go with these.

Top Songs of the Year and Christmas Wishes

Hi,

Here's some tunes to end the season on (or is that begin the season? It's all a bit silly). Please take the time to check them out. There's some great tracks here.

It's not really my Top Ten. There are a whole bunch of songs I liked this year, though perhaps nothing too outstanding (or am I just getting old?). Nah. 😉😈



































So here's to you in hoping that you have a good Christmas and get some time to relax.

I couldn't decide on one image, so what the heck. Have a great one and hope to see you on the other side. Thanks for sticking around. You're a legend.

       

Merry Christmas to you and yours

Here we are again, and hasn't it gone quick.

 

Quite simply, I wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you have a wonderful time, no matter what you're doing or who you're with, whether you're alone or surrounded by way too many family members than you'd care for (and there's always at least one who's a pain in the ass). There's always better or more miserable but for 2012, this is what we have.

 

Not sure what's going on here, but it looks kinda cool.

Have a great time and see you soon!