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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

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Video - Crackle like a record


Life is hard but sometimes the toughest battle is that within.

We're stuck in our own heads, like being caged without walls. 

This video is a poem I wrote about anxiety, written during a bad (yet endless) stretch.




Please watch Crackle HERE


Words 2020 / Video 2022


Yes, Caged without Walls is the name of my first poetry collection, published 2013. Many detail my own struggles and the struggles of others. So this is nothing new for me but now is an especially hard time.


My Anti-Depressant Nightmare


More Videos on My YouTube Channel


A.J. Langford Books



Hope you're faring okay. If not, loving life!


Peace

Anthony



Love failing


Fragile beings we are, as Yoda may have once said. (Or sounds like said, he may). 
Peace to you, no matter your situation.

'Life is cruel, Life is tough
Life is crazy, then it all turns to dust.'


Tears for Fears - The Tipping Point

Peace to you, no matter your situation.






Head off at the pass

There’s little
To draw from
A trickle
Once a tenacious flow
Now bare moisture on rocks
Passion monochrome
Deflated
Sucking in air
Suffocating fish gasps.

Inevitability laden
It all ends
Yet must remain unexpected
Sharp revelations
Rejection
Dismissal
The lover who finally
Called it void
When optimism kept you breathing.

Betrayal is often obvious
(For the discerning)
Therefore self-sacrifice
Is the ultimate victor
Minus a winner.


2014. 

Was initially to be included in the 2018 book... Allowing a love to die... but I dropped it.

How does it make you feel? Any thoughts on it? A relationship story you'd care to relate? 







Take care for now
Chat soon.

Peace and love
Anthony



Steadying - A (short) Video

 

Hi,

Hope you're doing well.

Here's a very short and hopefully uplifting video.



Not sure it relates specifically to the video but I like the image.
What it represents is open to your interpretation. 


Watch HERE







A.J. Langford Books




The most 'woman centric' song ever made

 


Feminist blues


The song, State Hospital by 'retired' Scottish band, Frightened Rabbit is an anthem for some women (seemingly with a domestic violence aspect), firstly as victims, then as survivors and ultimately those with hope. All within one very poignant, multi-layered track.





"Brought home to breathe smoke in arms of her mother with a blunt kitchen knife

Who just lays in a submissive position

Beneath the national weight and the slow arc of a fist."

AND

"Her blood is thicker than concrete,
 forced to be brave she was, born into a grave."

"If blood is thicker than concrete
All is not lost."


That last line is so powerful, considering how Scott's own mental state declined.


To analyse further for yourself, watch and listen HERE; (and please listen to the whole song, an absolute classic) - the official film clip makes it quite clear as to its content. A very powerful song. Arguably more powerful now (and perhaps timeless), than upon it's initial release. A song beyond its time. 




It's about suffering and resilience. It can be aimed at anyone but it's obvious that this is a song for females. Ironically, written by the late and extremely talented man, Scott Hutchison, lead singer and creator of the band Frightened Rabbit, whose existence ceased to be the moment he took his own life on the 9th May, 2018, aged just 36. 




More about Scott and the band HERE


Next week, 

An original, short and positive video; Steadying.


A.J. Langford Books






The young ones. She's in Big trouble.

 

An overheard conversation.




Big Serious Trouble

 

I mean, I love him and all, but it’s just … that…

            He’s not the one for you?

No, he is. I think. God, I hope so. I know he is, but he’s lying to me.  I can feel it.

            Oh. Like intuition?

Yeah exactly. We know stuff. Like the other day, Thursday, he said he was really tired and wanted a quiet night. So I go, okay, fine, I won’t see him. I won’t even text him that much because I know he has to get up early for work. So we talk for like an hour, and then at about eight thirty or whatever, I let him go.

            Doing the right thing.

Exactly. And so I said good night and he said good night and like, I was pretty bored and everything, so I just went out for frozen yoghurt with Patricia. Then, get this, at about eleven thirty or something, I get this random text, saying like come over baby, I really want you now and all this shit.

            What the hell?

I know right? He was all horny and acting weird.

            He was drunk.

Well. That’s what I said. But he said I was crazy and laughed it off.

Did you go over?

No chance. I’m not falling for that shit. So the next day, he says he must have been half asleep. I don’t think he even remembered.

            Yep. Drunk.

I reckon too, but he said he wasn’t. He insisted.

So, where do you think he was?

Out with the boys maybe, I don’t know. I mean he sees them every Saturday afternoon at football so why does he have to see them during the week? He should be with me, right?

            You should kick his ass to the curb.

I’m his girlfriend. I should be enough.

            Hell, yeah. Selfish prick. Dump him, quick.

Nah. I’m gunna change him. Just wait and see.

 



This was written in 2013 yet is timeless. Despite changing attitudes and customs, people never change. If in doubt, read the ancient Greek philosophers. They understood people better than many today. 


The image at the top is AI generated by me (does that mean others can't create the same image with the same prompts?). 



Meditations on relationships




Hope you have a good week.
Peace


The fool's dream. Is it me?

 

Everyone's got a sob story.

I've been prone to bouts of melancholia and anxiety as far back as I can remember. There was no such diagnosis in the 70's and 80's, not in rural Australia anyway, and now that I'm in my 50's and still have them as companions, I'm likely stuck with them til the end. Hence this poem. (An image version at the bottom).


Endurance and acceptance are likely the two biggest allies to adopt. If you have additional ones, more than happy to hear them. (I've reluctantly started a new medication, not an anti-depressant and starting counselling this week). 

Therapy through writing.




The fool’s dream

 

I wake with the fear

And fall asleep with hope

Knowing reality

Rarely waits patiently between both.

 

When will I learn

That there’s nothing new to learn?


The fog settled in

A long time ago

I just can’t let go

Of the sweet concept

Of a better tomorrow.

 

It’s the calling

That keeps fools dreaming

Which I should be grateful for

As temporary fantasy

Remains a release

But I recognised the lie

So far back

That I can’t be party to it

Anymore.

 


 

20.9.23 7.20 pm

Edit   27.2.24

 






I have far more additional stress than September last year, hence the edit in Feb. I guess and the decision to post it now. 

We all have our bullshit to deal with. A lot of mine is within my head. No escaping that.

Anyway, smile and fake it and push on. Fuck it.

Peace.


The Eighth Wonder of the World - Part 7

 

 Eighth Wonder of the World

There are a few considered for the title.
Three are listed here. They are constructions rather than natural wonders.

Pre-1900 creations





Part Seven


Sigiriya 

Sigiriya or Sinhagiri (Lion Rock) is an ancient rock fortress located in the northern Matale District in Sri Lanka. It is a site of historical and archaeological significance that is dominated by a massive column of granite approximately 180 m (590 ft) high.


By Binuka poojan - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=90567505



It is likely that the area around Sigiriya was inhabited since prehistoric times. There is clear evidence that the many rock shelters and caves in the vicinity were occupied by Buddhist monks and ascetics from as early as the 3rd century BC.


By dronepicr - Sigiriya Luftbild, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=52016328



In 477 AD, Kashyapa I, seized the throne from King Dhatusena, following a coup. The rightful heir, Moggallana, fearing for his life, fled to South India. Afraid of an attack by Moggallana, Kashyapa moved the capital and his residence to the more secure Sigiriya. 

During King Kashyapa’s reign (477 to 495 AD), Sigiriya was developed into a complex city and fortress. Most of the elaborate constructions on the rock summit and around it, including defensive structures, palaces, and gardens, date from this period.


By Cherubino - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=30088456


The site contains the ruins of an upper palace located on the flat top of the rock. The lower palaces clings to the slopes below the rocks. The moats, walls and gardens of the palace extended for a few hundred metres from the base of the rock. The site was both a palace and a fortress. The upper palace on the top of the rock includes cisterns cut into the rock.






Statue of Liberty


The copper statue, a gift from the people of France, was designed by French sculptor Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi and its metal framework was built by Gustave Eiffel. The statue was built in France, shipped overseas in crates, and assembled on the completed pedestal on what was then called Bedloe's Island.
The statue was dedicated on October 28, 1886.


By User:Mcj1800 - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=84048565


I went there in 1990. You've probably been yourself. You can walk up inside and look out through the crown (or was it the eyes?) It was a long time ago now. Went up the Twin Towers the next day and stood on the roof. Watching Sept. 11 2001 happen live was horrific.





Stonehenge


www.flickr.com/photos/garethwiscombe/1071477228/in/photostream/, CC BY 2.0


Archaeologists believe that Stonehenge was constructed in several phases from around 3100 BC to 1600 BC, with the circle of large sarsen stones placed between 2600 BC and 2400 BC. The surrounding circular earth bank and ditch, which constitute the earliest phase of the monument, have been dated to about 3100 BC. Radiocarbon dating suggests that the bluestones were given their current positions between 2400 and 2200 BC, although they may have been at the site as early as 3000 BC.



The oldest known depiction of Stonehenge, from the second quarter of the 14th century. A giant helps Merlin build Stonehenge.


Many aspects of Stonehenge, such as how it was built and for what purposes it was used, remain subject to debate.

I went there in 1989. You could get much closer to it then than now. You've probably been there too. Not a lot to see, or wasn't then. ie no tourist centre. Or is memory failing me again? 
Still very interesting however and Bath is nearby, which is historically fascinating.



More in this Series HERE 










Sometimes, you’re the bit*h - a Video

 

AI generated for this post



I really like this poem. It was written way back in 2013 and appeared in that year's book, Caged Without Walls. I hope you enjoy this video version.



Dog Gone Days


Sometimes, you’re the bitch

You have to take the hits

Others you lay the boot in

Glad it’s not your turn.

.... 

(Watch HERE).



Or on a Laptop here. 







A.J. Langford Books