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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

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Is the End of Life really coming?


Hi. I hope you're doing okay. This is a cheerful ditty written during the Pandemic. 


The End is a’comin

 

Do you get that feeling

The sense of impending doom?

There's always a reason

Today it's Climate Change

Yesterday it was Nuclear War

Communism

World War Two

And One

Famine

Disease

Marauding invaders

And so back

To earliest recorded time

Most had more reason

To fear the near future

Than us.

 

It's integral to the human experience

Because the End is Nigh

For us all

And we don't know how to

Deal with it

Hence why religion

Grips the world

Two-third’s strong

In spite of scientific certainties

Versus Santa Claus fantasies

The power of the Group

The Masses

Suffocates all sense

And always has.

 

So beware friends

For The End is a’comin

But just maybe

If we can Save the Earth

We can save ourselves.

 

 2020


I hope you took something from this. By the time I post these, I've forgotten what prompted me to write it. It was Covid times so perhaps the sense of 'final times' was on my mind, as it was for many.


More Poetry


Take care for now.

Peace

Anthony





A.J. Langford Books



Sin Bin - (warning - contains naughty words)


(contains naughty words. If easily offended, please read on).


I came across this in a folder from 2013. As to its content, it's not meant to be taken literally as coming from me. It's a satire. A character who gets sent to the Sin Bin (A rugby punishment) for bad behaviour. 







Down with Purgatory (I’m in the Sin Bin – and I like it).

You can dictate the rules
But I don’t play that game
I don’t want to be a part of your nanny state
Demonstrate
Accountability
Pay for your mistakes
You welfare sucking cunt
Suffer and fail
Expect the world to bail you out
White trash blow in boat louts
I focus on what makes me smile
I won’t swallow your bullshit
But I regurgitate your bile.                               

I don’t donate
I earned that mate
I’m taxed enough
Don’t build your friggin’ shack in the rough
Of a typhoon hunting ground
You got rammed in the mound
Like Darwin declared
We need to eradicate
Jaundiced gene inbred
I butter my own bread
And I’ll take out my trash
If the government does the same.

We put you there
You lame incompetent fucks
Anyone can wear a suit and a tie
Jesus, I will cum in your eye
Without so much as an ear tickle
Oh the world’s in a pickle
So they always say
But I’ll keep on getting my way
Because I’m completely fine
Without any divine
Assistance
From any brain drenched 
Piss ants.

Now I’ll take my leave
Without a skerrick of a fuck
Of what you believe
So dream your butterfly dream
I’ll thaw your arse Ice Queen
And make you hot for daddy.





Haha what the hell was going on that day?
In any regard, something a bit different. 

More Satire

More Poetry

My Books - Eight books of diverse content plus videos, short films, free downloads and more.


Have a good week or at least pretend. Others won't know the difference.
Peace

Anthony





She was gone. How much should I care?


Hi,

I wrote this six weeks after the death of my good friend and ex-girlfriend, Sally Jones in 2022. We were together for three years and stayed close for another twenty.

 




To care or not to care

 

I sit in the closing night

I sip on a hot ginger tea

And I don’t care

About anything else.

 

It’s about the best thing

I’ve ever tasted

And I don’t care

About the world

Or the people in it.

 

There’s only the disappearing day

And the ringing in my ears

The tingling in my legs

The heavy heart

And shortness of breath

Thanks to the anti-depressant burden

But the tea is good

And I am still

And I don’t care

About anything else.

 

A month ago

I wanted to die

There were a couple of days there

Where I contemplated it

So, I could be with Sally

The one I overlooked

The love I let go

The regret I partnered

My inheritance.

 

How significantly

Emotions

Can alter life itself.

 

Now that the sting

Is not as deep

I can see life

I realise that I am lucky to have

What she does not.

 

Still,

In this moment at least

I find it hard to care

For myself, you see

Of course, I care about others

My daughter

My family

People I’ve never met

Like those suffering in the Ukraine

But for myself

There’s nothing.

 

It does not matter

What I do

The outcome will be the same

I suppose it is for everyone.

 

The nothingness

Will soon arrive

I’m really just here

For others now

There is no other purpose

Perhaps that’s all any of us

Are here for

To share the burden

To comfort when crumbling

To laugh and love

When it arrives

And maybe it’s better

To not think about it too much.

 

Yes.

 

I have another sip of tea

And decide

That tomorrow

I will try harder

To care a little more.

 

 

11.40 p.m.

16.3.22

 



I was genuinely heartbroken when Sally died in January, 2022. I had not experienced that sort of grief for a very long time, if ever. There was some dark moments.


Sally and I around 1999.




My book,  Us & Them and the things in-between is dedicated to her. Two of the stories and a few poems are about her. This one was not included. 


To mix it up, a bit of naughty post next time, Sin Bin.

Have a good week.
Peace

Anthony




I hereby announce my new Day of the Week Pronouns.

 

I would like to announce and request that you acknowledge from here forth, my new pronouns.


On Weekends I am a male from an unidentified country, named Antinio Bandito, with an accent like the guy from The Princess Bride who said, 'You killed my Father. Now prepare to die.'



On Mondays and Tuesdays, I am Antoinette. Woman.

On Wednesdays I am Tony. Teenage boy.

On Thursday and Fridays I am simply Anthony.

Oh, to even it up a little, even second Wednesday I am Toni, a teen girl. (I was considering being gender neutral and adopting They, but even I'm not that special).


I want to be part of the In crowd and feel special, while also acknowledging my feminine side (which is pretty big by the way) and my gay side (also big. Especially according to my girlfriend). Plus highlight my love of movies and my side with an accent. 





Thank you in advance.


Don't forget because I would hate to call you a bigot.

Actually, I would love to call people bigots so I can feel morally superior and special, while simultaneously denigrating others and therefore, become a hypocrite, which I will of course, be totally ignorant of.

Why wasn't this invented earlier? It's so much fun!


Remember, if you feel it, you are it! 



What was two, is now thirty-two! In five years, it'll be a hundred! Weeeeeee!


(In all honesty, it's a bit of satire. I'll call someone whatever they want, even a zebra. This is more about the attention seekers and there are many.).



If you leave a comment, please refer to me according to the day of the week. 


Peace / Piece / Piss

Antinio Bandito/Antoinette/Tony/Anthony/Toni



More Satire such as;


The Karen's Revolt

Crazy Sports at the Chinese Winter Olympics

How to Increase your Diversity Strength



A.J. Langford Books





Change is coming - Control Freaks Fate

 

Hi,

How's your week going?

Here's a new video. I'll give you the first line.

'When the world turns to shit...'

I'll let the rest speak for itself. 


Watch

Control Freaks Fate

HERE




Did you like that? Please leave your thoughts and check out many more videos of varying natures at;

AJL Channel




More Videos



For free downloads, short films, videos, books and more please visit;

A.J. Langford Books





Singer - A decade since she died - (Language warning).

 

10th Anniversary


This was written at the time, literally on the day she died.

If easily offended, don't read on.




Chrissie Amphlett died today

 

When you can take no more

Lay down to die

And there’s plenty who

Would love to sink the boot in

Just once

To feel what it’s like

No matter the impact to you

Without the promise of punishment.

 

Though you’ve done the rounds

With the same commitment

Again and again

Through sweat and creative candle burning flames

It’s only when you flash your pussy

Do they stop to stare

And take notice of what you’ve always had

To offer.

 

Such a pity

You had to be the schoolgirl first

With skirt raised

And cunt as prospect

For the songs to burn.


April, 2013



Not your usual dedication but that's what was written. The point being that she was far more than her sexualised persona. 


Superb band. I loved them. The Good Die Young indeed. Aged 53, Chrissie died from breast cancer on the 21st April 2013 in Manhattan. She had battled it for years. She also had MS which limited the type of treatment she could have.

She formed the Divinyls with Mark McEntee in 1980. Their often volatile relationship lead to many changes in the line-up but they did produce six albums. They were also in a relationship for eleven years. They split in '93 and the band in 1996. She was also an actress, playing Russell Crowe's mum in the musical Blood Brothers. 








For free downloads, short films, videos, books and more please visit;


A.J. Langford Books








Those crazy young people. I wrote a Movie, Travel Bug. Finally you can read it, FREE!

 

I wrote a Movie! And now you can read it free. 

It's called Travel Bug. Based on my years working as a barman and backpacking in Europe. I was in my early twenties so it's also about the crazy things young people get up to.

I was living above the bar/restaurant, along with many of the staff. It was some of the best fun of my life. Not without it's many dramas as is prone to happen with young people. And young love.




When I returned to Australia, instead of going back to the country where I grew up, I moved to Sydney. Part of it is based on that time too. Some of the screenplay mirrors real life. As usual, it will be up to you to work out how much is real life. 

It was written when I was thirty-eight, fourteen years after the last of the events took place.


So here it is. 

Travel Bug


Download it HERE

Read at your own leisure. 83 pages.


For anyone who's been a backpacker. Anyone who's worked in hospitality. Anyone who's been in love. Anyone who's been young.


Note the two crazy dudes hanging out the right window.


I never really believed I would make this screenplay into a real feature film but I had made many short films and hoped I could get it into the right hands somewhere. 

Well, dreamin' big is free. Creating the work is hard but possible. Beyond that, well, it's a different ball game. My film career never really took off so this became the only full length film script I ever wrote. After this I began writing my first novel, the yet to be published children's fantasy, Borders of Bordavia. (I hope to publish it sometime, perhaps 2024/5).

I wrote other short film scripts which have never been made or released publicly but you can watch the films I did make HERE.


Sweet youth. How short it is.










Life can surprise you and I certainly found that in a big way

 

Almost eleven months ago, something crazy happened to me. It's quite personal. I may regret posting this but my heart is on my sleeve. Read on at your own risk.

The poem tells the story. Written eight months ago.





The Reignition

 

It’s an obvious point

It still needs

To be said.

 

She makes me feel young

Reminds me of what

It was like

And how fresh and open

And naive

I must have been.

 

That impulsiveness

Living in the moment

The lack of plans

Mostly looking forward

Not back

The excitement of new love

The obsession with the other

The ecstasy of sex

And lots of it.

 

Something new

Not previously lived

Not merely another experience

Measured against the previous one.

 

And yet,

It must also be said

That I cannot pretend

That I am not middle aged

And feel frustrations

In certain behaviours

That only exist

In the early stages of adulthood.

 

I must exercise tolerance

Refrain from condemnation

Or to proffer advice

And simply be in the moment too.

 

It’s almost like being

In a three-way relationship

The third being me

My younger self

How would he react?

Did he do things like this?

 

He’s watching too

And whispering

And laughing

Out of my mouth

The young man

Given voice once more

After being silenced

For decades.

 

Or is he the actual one

Honouring me

With the breath of life?

Thought retreated

Aged to oblivion.

 

There’s a spring in the step

A glint in the eye

A smoothing over

Of entrenched social graces

A flight in the laughter

An alluring joy

That I surely

Have no right to.

 

And yet,

Here I am

Living it

Blessed.

 

 

5.8.22 5.35 pm


I wasn't seeking younger, though she was seeking older. (And no I'm not wealthy). It is what it is. As I said, a surprise. I'm sure not everyone agrees with it but the only people we have to make happy is each other. Most have actually been great.

As to how long it lasts, who knows? Same as any other relationship. A day at a time. Almost a year in, it's working just fine. 





How will you be when you're old? Sitting on a porch? 

Posted this recently. If you haven't seen it, watch on YouTube HERE



Coming next week,


I wrote a movie!

My unproduced feature length screenplay, Travel Bug, based on some of my travels when I was young. Written in 2005. It's fun and more than a bit crazy.