The Agony and Non Ecstasy of Publishing
I recently came as close as I ever have in ten years
to having one of my novels accepted by a legitimate publisher. I sent it off, (the
entire novel rather than the usual first few chapters) and heard back within a
couple of months. They said they liked it and would be interested in looking at
it again if I were to make a few changes. It wasn’t anything to do with the
story but about the narrative voice. Essentially they wanted it more immediate.
I told them it would take a while as I
have a pretty busy life with two jobs, parenthood etc. They said they were okay with that.
I spent two months working hard on it. I updated
the voice and made lots of small changes and deletions and even injected a small sub-plot. I
thought it much better than it was and hoped they would agree. (I never
mentioned it to anyone as I’m kind of superstitious about these things).
I
sent it back.
A month went by. Nothing. Another couple of weeks passed.
Today I received a reply. It took me ten hours to bring myself to open the email. They liked the changes... yet decided that it wasn’t for
them after all.
Wow. Thanks!
Now I know how John Kennedy Toole felt. His journey
was very similar. So close yet rejected after giving them what they wanted. (Though I was dealing with a smaller press,
which I won’t name.) When you invest your heart and creative soul into a
project and have a little hook dangle in front of you like that, it can give
you hope.
To be honest, I didn’t get my hopes up too much
because there’s mostly rejection in this game... you can’t afford to get excited.
I stopped doing that years ago. After all, tell me another occupation where you
spend a decade working with no result? Yes the novels are written so that is something unto itself. And no I won’t
self-publish because for me personally, I would feel like I failed.
Yes I should get back on the horse, but I’ve been
doing that for so long the poor thing’s about to croak from old age.
*2021 Update. Tired of their games and the every shrinking market, especially with the diversity driven craze which has pushed me even further to the side, I decided to go my own way in 2020.
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