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2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

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I hereby announce my new Day of the Week Pronouns.

 

I would like to announce and request that you acknowledge from here forth, my new pronouns.


On Weekends I am a male from an unidentified country, named Antinio Bandito, with an accent like the guy from The Princess Bride who said, 'You killed my Father. Now prepare to die.'



On Mondays and Tuesdays, I am Antoinette. Woman.

On Wednesdays I am Tony. Teenage boy.

On Thursday and Fridays I am simply Anthony.

Oh, to even it up a little, even second Wednesday I am Toni, a teen girl. (I was considering being gender neutral and adopting They, but even I'm not that special).


I want to be part of the In crowd and feel special, while also acknowledging my feminine side (which is pretty big by the way) and my gay side (also big. Especially according to my girlfriend). Plus highlight my love of movies and my side with an accent. 





Thank you in advance.


Don't forget because I would hate to call you a bigot.

Actually, I would love to call people bigots so I can feel morally superior and special, while simultaneously denigrating others and therefore, become a hypocrite, which I will of course, be totally ignorant of.

Why wasn't this invented earlier? It's so much fun!


Remember, if you feel it, you are it! 



What was two, is now thirty-two! In five years, it'll be a hundred! Weeeeeee!


(In all honesty, it's a bit of satire. I'll call someone whatever they want, even a zebra. This is more about the attention seekers and there are many.).



If you leave a comment, please refer to me according to the day of the week. 


Peace / Piece / Piss

Antinio Bandito/Antoinette/Tony/Anthony/Toni



More Satire such as;


The Karen's Revolt

Crazy Sports at the Chinese Winter Olympics

How to Increase your Diversity Strength



A.J. Langford Books





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