Death Rights
may 2010
It's get easier and easier with each breath. Each numbered breath.
I thought it would be hard.
I always dreaded it.
Always.
For Years
What a Fool.
What a waste.
But now I'm aware of each breath.
Languid. Supple. Not particularly enjoyable.
Just a breath.
But I'm conscious of it.
This is what it's come to.
I thought I had more time,
but it's snuck up on me
look. Here it is.
There was time for more
wasn't there?
If only there was some warning...
Then I could have planned
could have done some of those final things
whatever they are
I didn't even have time to draw up a list
I'm sure there's many final things
but right now,
I can't think of any.
The last breaths.
You've got to be joking
right?
I mean... I've done many good things
surely I deserve more.
I know we all have to go
and all that crap
but....
doesn't seem fair..
guess it never does.
But this is me,
not a person in the paper
or on the news
or in a movie.
Where are you God?
You don't exist!
If you do, you must be some asshole.
So many people, better than me
have sacrificed more
and you took them anyway
haven't you had enough?
Sssh now and concentrate
this is harder than I thought.
I guess soon I won't have any thoughts
there will only be this
concentrating on my breaths
then I'll be out of it
I think I already am
I can't communicate with those around me
to them
I'm already faded
in some other place that is more real than this
it's my place
only I can understand it
I guess I'll die here
I can cope with that
can't I?
I'm as warm and safe as I'll ever be
anywhere
and it's not external
it's all here
and that's all we need
that's all I need.
Good
because I'm going anyway
I can feel it
now
oh yes
it is now
here
with me
taking
me
not so
bad
it's
not goodbye
is it
it's not hello
it's
this
just this
but
I
go
there
...
..
.
or
or nothing
https://www.anthonyjlangfordbooks.com/books