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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)


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Those who can't do, Review

Those who can’t Poo, Review.

Blocked up and Bitter.
Too many rejections and not enough of the other.

A cacophony of coilers in the caustic conjectures
A gust of hot air, made solid
A tangible fillet of flatulence.

It’s like the stamp without the adhesive
The spit without the polish
The torch without the blow
It’s the hard, cold truth
Of One.

It’s an intellectual Island
Devoid of inhabitants.
It’s a pure same-seeks-same hanker
For another Wanker.

Tsk Tsk
It has to be said
It must be honest
Yet a dash of acerbic spice
And venomous cattiness
Is the required juice
The necessary ingredients
For this snooty serving
Though turgid on the tummy
And it barricades the bowels
The Holier than thou must Exult!
Let’s face it...
Those who can’t do,

Summed up
With the infamous last line
The crème de la crap…

It’s a one equals one
All for the frustration of…

I can’t Poo.

Future reviewer

I thought of posting an actual coiler as these toffs really give me the shits. 
Alas, too much toilet humour can give one stomach cramps.

More Satire Bytes.


  1. I just love this, Anthony! I giggled heartily at the "tangible fillet of flatulence." "The hard cold truth Of One," so many other gems of relevant word play. This is now one of my favorites of yours.
    Be well. xo

  2. That was really good Anthony! An instant classic.
    "The crème de la crap…" HA!

  3. "It’s an intellectual Island
    Devoid of inhabitants."

    Like that.

    There are so many gatekeepers of taste to disagree with.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. ...And I like that. Who bestows their voice?

      (This comment has been removed by the author.)

      Change a single typo and Blogger has to go and make a big deal about it.


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