Suicide. Some thoughts refuse to die. (Pun not intended)

World Suicide Prevention Day.

Co-incidentally, I wrote this almost on the day itself, one year ago. 

Closure

 

I want to save you

The time

And myself

Of the pitying parlay

And there’s no escaping it

In any regard

Though there’s a temptation

To just get it done.

 

 

12.40 am

21.9.23

 

A year old. No, not a healthy mindset. Yet, one that continuously rears it's ugly face and says, I ain't goin' nowhere. It's been pretty quiet at times down through the years, but it's always been there. Since teenage days. 

Ink drawing by Thomas Nast, late 19th century.

Is it better to stay quiet or give voice to it?

I wrestle. I conquer. It inevitably returns. Creative expression helps?

Written a year ago. I'd happily go back to that feeling compared where I am now. To go into detail would be boring. 

It is self pitying but I'm desperate really. I'm simply being honest with where I'm at.  Sorry but not sorry. Depression (and in my case, severe anxiety as well) likes to have no company. It likes to stay silent. It likes to retreat. It's no fun place to be and I'd rather not be here. I'm fighting though. And I am trying to talk about it. I'm not giving up. But when the fight is within your own mind it's very tough to develop resilience. This is when others come in to help the person through, or in too many cases, doesn't come in and helps create an environment where suicide happens.

Over to you.

More Poetry

A.J. Langford Books

Until next time,

Anthony