Nice to see you.

Order Lone Wolf World via Amazon or above
2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)


Get a weekly post delivered straight to your email. Email Subscribe to

Are you amazing? Want to be on TV? Want to be F A M O U S ? !


Do you have what it takes to be a reality TV contestant? 

Take the quiz and find out!

(Also applies to Social Media Influencers)

Do you find yourself loitering in front of a shop window? Unable to tear yourself away from a mirror?

Would you categorise yourself as amazing? Even sensational?

Would you describe yourself as hawt?

Are you jealous of others because they get to converse with you? And then go home and think about you all night? Like they obviously do. Soooo obvious. That’s why they ditch you sometimes. Jealous much!

Do you wish that you could be apart from yourself so you could, like, stalk yourself? Like a love obsessed creep? (To be fair, who could blame you)?

Do you dress to impress, even though it's not required?

If there was an identical you, would you go out with you? Would you do the hell out of you? (Oh yeah… that’s hawt)

Are you totally down with cosmetic surgery? Even though you don’t need it. Obviously. Durrrr...

 Do you masturbate to a mirror? And then shoot video of yourself and sext yourself? 

OMG! Like, who is that hawtie? Oh me? So it is. Shucks!

If you answered Yes to Half of these or more (5), then YES! You are totally, like, really incredibly, super ready to be on a Reality TV show. We’ll enter you into our system and see what pops up!

You don’t care which one really, do you? Of course not. You just want to be on TV so all those lucky people can watch you! Oh my God! So cool! You can turn on the charm. Show off your hawt body and why not? 6 days a week in the gym ain’t for nuthin’, right? Show off your amazing fashion style. And most of all, your drop dead hawt looks. And yeah, like, the personality bit too.

If you’re beaten to the punch, don’t worry. 

We’ll help you fatten up your amount of followers on Insta

We’ll make you swing on TikTok! We'll make you Rok on DikDok

(The new Porn rated version. Amazing porn in 30sec chunks!  Wazzup!). 

Don’t worry. You won’t leave empty handed. Just for auditioning, we’ll present you with one of our new portable, attachable mirrors! Wherever you go, you’ll always be able to look at the most important person in the Universe! Y O U !!!

More Satire

My Books Wazzup!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Like what you read? Please Share. Without you I is nothing.