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Help us keep you retarded

Service Announcement Saviours 

Your standard Sydney train experience 

Customers, please allow other passengers to disembark from the train before entering. Thank you.

Customers, please keep back from the yellow line when trains are approaching. Thank you.

Customers please watch out for trips, slips and falls. Help us keep you safe.

Customers, please keep your bags off the seats.
Thank you.

Customers, if you are feeling unwell, do not risk it. Get off at the next station. Staff will be there to assist you.

Customers, please keep your shoes off the seats.
Thank you.

Please do not sit on or obstruct the stairways.

The train on this platform is now due to depart. Please stand clear.

Customers on Platform __. The next train will not be stopping on this platform. Please stand clear.

Customers please stand back from opening doors.

If you notice a suspicious package, please do not touch it. Report it to station staff.

Passengers, for safety, please take extreme care. Surfaces may be slippery when wet.

Customers, please do not keep the doors open with your hands. Help us keep you safe.

Customers, you do not have to use your brain while on this train. Help us keep you retarded.
Thank you.

(George Orwell continues to roll in his grave, clutching his splitting sides).

Got a pet Nanny State Hate?


  1. Lol so true! It's ridiculous the world we live in - what are we facing? No innovation or fun or even worse no natural weeding out - as we wrap everyone in cotton wool? I believe it's called Darwin's theory - hahaha

  2. You forgot: Customers, please refrain from train surfing as this may cause electrocution. Or customers, please have something meaningful to say before adding to the graffiti, inside or out. Or for us vline customers in the Victorian country - Customers, even though the toilets don't work and the train is filthy, and we are running over 30 minutes late as usual, just be thankful we did not just cancel the service and squeeze you all on a bus, as usual.

  3. But can I keep the door open with my butt, boobs, or baby toe?
    Oy vey! Somehow there's solace in knowing that other smart people are equally irritated by the world's stupidity.


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