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The Second (Point Five) Amendment

The Solution: The Second (Point Five) Amendment

1.      All citizens shall have the right to bare legs. A citizen can bare legs to protect the home and family, in case of intruders, burglars, rapists, serial killers, body part collectors, homosexuals or an invading army.

2.      Stockpiling of legs is allowed.

3.      Assault legs are allowed, though it is important to remember that legs don’t kill people, people kill people. It is not the leg’s fault. Poor legs. Sad face.

4.      The baring of legs is also crucial to the protection of the family in case of marauding mutants or ninjas. (They will not help against zombies, as they don’t exist, don’t be silly. And in case they do, zombies prefer brains).

5.      Attractive legs, especially on females, are known to be as deadly as hideous ones. It has been documented that a hot pair of legs can stop a tank, ala Tiananmen Square style. (To all leg obsessed citizens unaware of the outside world, ie let alone its history; please scroll through a little thing called the internet).

Legs did the job - No gun required.

6.      There is no issue regarding the use of athletes, so high-powered legs are acceptable.

7.      Fat legs are also known to deter intruders, though the reflex response is generally slower. Best to use them as heavy artillery against a foreign force.

8.      Legs come in many forms, though legs of aliens should be hunted down and destroyed. The same applies to kikes, niggers, wops, fags and towel heads. 

9.   Every school teacher has the right to bare legs. The same with McDonalds employees and ministers. Goddamn it, every mo-fo over three should bare legs. This will solve the problem of bare legs.

10.  We will bare legs until Hell freezes over (though if very cold, purchase leg-ins). God help anyone who tries to stop us. Remember, the family that slays together, dies together. Amen. 

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.



  1. "Goddamn it, every mo-fo over three should bare legs." This whole thing is hilarity at its best, Anthony. Love it!

    I especially like to bare legs during the summer.


  2. PS Is that you and yours in the last photo? So sweet.

  3. Haha - thanks Robyn - no, not me, but apparently 'the all american family.' He does look a bit like me though. ;)

  4. I came back to check. I thought he looks similar, but not quite, like you - from the sketchy pics I've seen. The little boy/girl in front of him, though, looks like Tilly. =)

    PS I'm hoping you get the book soon. It's made it's way to Canada, though Australia's a bit farther. xo

  5. So was the guy in the top photo shooting ducks or rabbits? I wish they would adopt your amendment in Australia and then someone might start making decent pairs of shorts. Ones that don't fade after three minutes in the sun would be nice. Americans being generally taller and a lot fatter than the Chinese would make up in length and weight of their legs over the Chinese three to one numbers.


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