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Video poem - The Final Result

The final result

I feel the shadow at my shoulder
Like an error unchangeable
The terrible result
I wish I could tell you
I knew It was coming
I always thought
There’d be more time
Like those final monologues in movies
But they cheated me

So much for having the effects in order
Rooms were untidy
There was Disorder to order
Thoughts were scattered
People to talk to
Signatures to sign
Emails to send
And food in the fridge

If I had known

I’ve just realised
I’m that person
Who once was
The name on the headstone
And is now staring back at you
Who once felt the breeze
And all the pain and elation I’ve ever felt
Is less than the dirt beneath your feet.

I’m finally here
And when I always thought
That I wouldn’t exist
If you didn’t recognise me
I’ll pass that up
For one more chance.

I’m sorry I had thoughts of giving up
Throwing it in with swollen frustrations
And that’s all it was
There is so much more
I can see that now
I can see it stretching into forever
I’m not asking for another year
Just one more day
To appreciate what I used to let drift…

Easing into a chair after a long day
The gentle caress of a favourite song
The cool wet of rain on skin
The beauty in a dark rolling sky
The bliss of satisfying a deep thirst
The comfort of a smooth functioning routine
The relief of confiding in a friend
The holistic redemption
Of a much needed hug
from someone who genuinely gives a fuck.

The intense physical flight
Of a body in ecstasy…

A sense of purpose
When it all comes together
Even though it’s not often enough.
The joy of losing control
In a laugh that doesn’t want to end.
Feeling another body beside you in bed
As an alternate reality, greets you in sleep.
Or the simple joy of lying in
Without the guilt of having to get up.

In a moment, things are perfect
And you feel it
To your core.

These are the moments to miss
The career and the bank account
Won’t mean a thing.
I’m fading fast
And I wish had wisdom for you
And it’s there
But I can’t remember it right now
I’m sorry for that too
But I cannot be anything else
Other than dissipating energy
Created by the memory of others

There is nothing more to miss
I am already gone.


  1. I don't know how you do it, Anthony - weave words into such profound, multi-dimensional works of art. With each of your creations, I'm even more impressed. This one has and says it all.

    PS We're on for next week, Tuesday maybe. =)

  2. Thank you so much Robyn. It is a mini-epic.
    All good.

  3. I don't know what to say Tony, but this poem means a lot. All my words of response are silent though. I think you will understand this and that will be enough for you to know that it's beautiful writing.

    Sal x

  4. Lots of alternative meanings in this one like:
    And I wish had wisdom for you
    And it’s there
    But I can’t remember it right now
    Those lines got a laugh, but then I remembered my dad as he faded with dementia, what was he thinking?

    I found the second part of the video more inspiring, especially the galaxy shrinking ending.

  5. Beautiful words evoking such strong emotion - touching everyone I am sure as I doubt there is anyone who can not relate to this great piece of work. Well done and thank you for giving it to us.

  6. VERY good Anthony! Unfortunately, none of us ever get that "one more day." We must enjoy the time we have and not waste it on petty and angry things. Enjoy it, while we have it!

  7. Thank you for your thoughts everyone. I won't add to what I already said in the poem.

    Graham, the video program I was using had expired. I wanted to change the beginning. I also like the second part more. Sometimes when you write something it makes sense, but when you read it, it loses its power. I don't think I'll be using my voice much in future.


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