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The Second (Point Five) Amendment

The Solution: The Second (Point Five) Amendment

1.      All citizens shall have the right to bare legs. A citizen can bare legs to protect the home and family, in case of intruders, burglars, rapists, serial killers, body part collectors, homosexuals or an invading army.

2.      Stockpiling of legs is allowed.

3.      Assault legs are allowed, though it is important to remember that legs don’t kill people, people kill people. It is not the leg’s fault. Poor legs. Sad face.

4.      The baring of legs is also crucial to the protection of the family in case of marauding mutants or ninjas. (They will not help against zombies, as they don’t exist, don’t be silly. And in case they do, zombies prefer brains).

5.      Attractive legs, especially on females, are known to be as deadly as hideous ones. It has been documented that a hot pair of legs can stop a tank, ala Tiananmen Square style. (To all leg obsessed citizens unaware of the outside world, ie let alone its history; please scroll through a little thing called the internet).

Legs did the job - No gun required.

6.      There is no issue regarding the use of athletes, so high-powered legs are acceptable.

7.      Fat legs are also known to deter intruders, though the reflex response is generally slower. Best to use them as heavy artillery against a foreign force.

8.      Legs come in many forms, though legs of aliens should be hunted down and destroyed. The same applies to kikes, niggers, wops, fags and towel heads. 

9.   Every school teacher has the right to bare legs. The same with McDonalds employees and ministers. Goddamn it, every mo-fo over three should bare legs. This will solve the problem of bare legs.

10.  We will bare legs until Hell freezes over (though if very cold, purchase leg-ins). God help anyone who tries to stop us. Remember, the family that slays together, dies together. Amen. 

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.
Because times haven't changed.