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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

Books: Eclectic story collection Pseudo Stars out now!

Video poem - The Final Result

The final result

I feel the shadow at my shoulder
Like an error unchangeable
The terrible result
I wish I could tell you
I knew It was coming
I always thought
There’d be more time
Like those final monologues in movies
But they cheated me

So much for having the effects in order
Rooms were untidy
There was Disorder to order
Thoughts were scattered
People to talk to
Signatures to sign
Emails to send
And food in the fridge

If I had known

I’ve just realised
I’m that person
Who once was
The name on the headstone
And is now staring back at you
Who once felt the breeze
And all the pain and elation I’ve ever felt
Is less than the dirt beneath your feet.

I’m finally here
And when I always thought
That I wouldn’t exist
If you didn’t recognise me
I’ll pass that up
For one more chance.

I’m sorry I had thoughts of giving up
Throwing it in with swollen frustrations
And that’s all it was
There is so much more
I can see that now
I can see it stretching into forever
I’m not asking for another year
Just one more day
To appreciate what I used to let drift…

Easing into a chair after a long day
The gentle caress of a favourite song
The cool wet of rain on skin
The beauty in a dark rolling sky
The bliss of satisfying a deep thirst
The comfort of a smooth functioning routine
The relief of confiding in a friend
The holistic redemption
Of a much needed hug
from someone who genuinely gives a fuck.

The intense physical flight
Of a body in ecstasy…

A sense of purpose
When it all comes together
Even though it’s not often enough.
The joy of losing control
In a laugh that doesn’t want to end.
Feeling another body beside you in bed
As an alternate reality, greets you in sleep.
Or the simple joy of lying in
Without the guilt of having to get up.

In a moment, things are perfect
And you feel it
To your core.

These are the moments to miss
The career and the bank account
Won’t mean a thing.
I’m fading fast
And I wish had wisdom for you
And it’s there
But I can’t remember it right now
I’m sorry for that too
But I cannot be anything else
Other than dissipating energy
Created by the memory of others

There is nothing more to miss
I am already gone.