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How to End Sexual Harassment

The New Solution against Sexual Harassment 

'Miss, how do I do up my seatbelt?'

(Good tip for the new Terrorist. Rather than utilising some dirty dude with a feral beard,
employ a hot babe! Then no-one will show any concern for the unattended baggage in the seat behind her.)

A recent survey of Qantas airline staff said that 25% (a nice round number) reported being sexually harassed by customers or other staff members. While sexual harassment as a term, has yet to be defined in this particular case, as either a look, a comment, being followed, stalked or a grope, there is a simple way to eradicate this type of behavior.

Ugly staff.

'O Captain, my Captain.'

For all time, attractive people, in most cases young women, have been used by companies to be the face of their brand. The literal Front Line. Is is any wonder then, that these attractive people are found desirable? That's their purpose, surely? It's not their fault. It's the companies that continue to exploit them for their looks and bodies.

The Tea Lady

Enough is Enough

Simple solution. Employ ugly people. Also employ a 50-50 quota of male and female. It would also be of great benefit if they did not have good bodies, as some don't mind if the mantelpiece is off while stoking the fire, to quote an old phrase. You can see why times have changed!
It's best for everyone concerned if their bodies where really quite off-putting as well.

That's the spirit! No Silicone!

Think of how much sexual harassment would be reduced in the workplace! We do know that some people are quite happy to be exploited for their looks, such as front-line reception staff etc and models and TV hosts etc. The list is really quite long. But those people don't speak for everyone. In this day and age, can we really afford to reward the frivolous and risk sexual harassment? Why should good looking people get job opportunities others can't simply due to how they look?

New Real Estate Agents - Their sales figures just quadrupled.  
'I'll have what he's selling.'

In the 21st century, where being offended can get people fired, it's time to put this centuries old practice to one side. We must progress as the enlightened species we desire to be! (Desire is a bad phrase. Perhaps it should be banned).

Equal opportunities for all!
Let's reward people for their actual skill set. And intelligence. And personality. Not gender, physical beauty, race, sexuality, blah blah.
(Crazy concept, isn't it).

Promote the ugly! Fire the beautiful. 
And make this world a better, uglier place.

While we're here, let's turn the tables on the Porn Industry. We want to see the ugliest, hairiest, lumpiest actors possible. Small willys and saggy boobys. No Silicone. Ban the Botox. Ban the fake Orgasms. Just Ban everyone goddamit! And free the Sexually Enslaved and the Perpetually Enraged.

(We'll do anything, just to stop the fucking whining. We've got a global headache).

A real Porn 'Star' - Good on her. More please!

Do you have any tips on how to end Sexual Harassment, particularly in the workplace? 

Should we chemically castrate all men? Or just replace them with robots? Make sex an illegal activity unless you have a license? Wear company masks, so that no one know what a person looks like, and communicates via a gender neutral computer voice? I like it!

 Gender neutral robots - workers of the Future!

('On second thoughts, I'll do my own seatbelt. Asshole.')

If you know anyone really attractive who gets all the attention, forward this to them. It's bound to piss them off!

More Satire


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