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2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

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anthonyjlangford2@yahoo.com.au

Night of the Living Smombies



The Uncensored, Unadulterated Horror






Fear the Walking Dead
They are the....


Smombies


Smart Phone Zombies.


They just won't stop texting


The World around them doesn't exist.
The Living don't Matter.
They stay on their phones....
But they won't stay Dead!




Ah, that's why it's called the Stop.



They Scroll While They Stroll

They're Perplexed While They Text

While We are Vexed by Their Wrecked Tread

Fuck Off and Die!
(That doesn't rhyme with anything, I just wanted to say it).




They Failed the Chewbecca Test - yes this is real. Sadly.





Pedestrian Deaths have risen dramatically. 

(see this article about Smombies).


'Distracted walking is a form of inattentional blindness and when you undertake this behaviour you are effectively playing chicken with fast moving traffic.'





See train behind. Sadly real.



We don't mind Darwinism at work. It's when they get in your way that's really fucking annoying. Like in supermarket queues. Or in the street. Around public transport. The mall. The schools. Anywhere you're going, they're in the way, like a blind drunk being blind drunk. Move the fuck over!


Also when they do it at work, such as at the hospital (now where did I put those scissors?), while operating machinery at the nuclear power plant, looking after your children (how many kids did we have today?) and while behind the wheel that matters. Phone related vehicle accidents are a major causation of death worldwide. Everyone knows that. But still the Smombies persist.


Why?














Essentially they don't have the intelligence to entertain their own brains with thoughts while they are doing tasks, while mundane, that actually require some serious concentration, like driving a truck. 

Also they're ego's are so humongous, like a turd from a hippopotamus, they actually think people care about their stupid fucking posts. They don't.

Image result for dumbass selfies
Ummmmm.... yeah.
(Mmm breakfast)





Solution?




Make it Legal




This post is sponsored by the 


'Make Killing a Smombie Legal'
and
'Removing Smombie's from the Gene Pool is a Humane Act' 
and
'The Right To Bear Arms against Fuckwits with Fones' 
Groups.




Disclaimer: I'm only against phone use when it impacts the lives of others, particularly when it's dangerous. A girl I went to primary school with was killed in a motor vehicle accident way back in the early 90's, due to a woman speaking on the phone and driving. Little has changed since then, including my rage.


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