Mental Health Month - In the Wallows




In the Wallows


I sit
Slouching really
In the tepid gloom
Of a season in decline
An unflinching force
Towards winter
A lowly lit room
A pathetic metaphor
For my fatalistic mood
Defeated, it feels
By the everyday
The alarm chime, the routine to rise
The traffic, the commitment
The morons whose mistakes
Aim to trip us up
Our constant guard exhausting
The arsehole whose harsh words
And selfish actions
Taint our worldview
And make it all
marina by m.tau - deviant art
Unnecessarily difficult.

And now I’m aware
That I’ve gone from
I to Us
As though I’m speaking for others
Universal practices or not
Whereas
It’s just me here.

The battle is very personal
And right now
I feel I’ve lost.

That’s the true evil of depression
That the current mood
Stands for all time
The pervading, cloying doom
Eternal.

Whereas in half a day
I may have clawed my way back
As we often do
As those aforementioned tediums
Require that we must
As money is still required
To survive.

So I’ll rise once more
No doubt
But for now
I’m home
In the wallows.



ajl 2019



(I don't have any answers. All I'm saying is that sometimes it's okay to feel bad, if we are able to remind ourselves that these awful feelings will pass. Just hang on).

At the end of the series I'll be compiling this poem and 9 others into a pdf for download,
called All Empires Crumble. All are from 2019.


Previous Mental Health Month entries



2 comments:

  1. You definitely get across how futile you think life is. I reckon a lot of people, "US", feel that way. I am reminded why a lot of people keep fanatically busy, so they don't have to stop and think what is the point of it all. As Socrates says An unexamined life is not worth living. Lately I have been too busy to stop and think about my life - preferring I think to project my fears on how society is going as a whole than delve into my situation.

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  2. Thanks for the reply and the quote. It's a good one. Too much of it is not good for mental health. Over analysis. Not just of self but everything. Perhaps your way is best.
    I do believe it has contributed to the writing over the years, though it certainly has come at a cost, especially now that I'm getting older, I can feel the strain.
    Thanks for swinging by and all your thoughts and ideas over a long time now.

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