Brexiteers: The Only Solution

Brexiteers: The Only Solution

This story first appeared in the Telegraph Post, November 29, 2019

by Robert Mandel, UK
'It was great for the protest. Now what the fuck do we do with it?

Unable to agree on whether to leave the European Union or not, Britain has opted to agree on one thing; that they cannot agree.

“There’s only one viable solution left to us,’ said one Tory member anonymously. ‘We are drawing up plans to divide Britain, much like Ireland. The I’s will have it. And the No’s will have it.”
A leaked source shows that blueprints have already been drafted, with the British public soon to be able to vote on the new plans. One half of Britain will stay with the E.U., the other half will become the Independent States of Britain. ISIB.

No doubt there will be much contention but as some people on the street we’ve already spoken to, think it’s the only way to satisfy everybody.

‘An excellent idea. We should have done it years ago.’

You went to the same printer, didn't you? 

‘It’s a truly superb notion. I can shop locally and spend my good old English pounds then I can go across the border and spend some Euro’s without having the nuisance of long-distance travel. Wonderful!’

‘I’m all for it mate. Hate mixing with those bloody whiners anyway. The majority get the vote but that’s not good enough for ‘em. They hate democracy. They’re bloody fascists is what they are!’

This lot just confused everybody

Some are saying that England should remain for the English and palm Scotland off to the E.U. ‘No one really wants them anyway,’ said one conservative.

We asked one local M.P., with a sense of flippancy, 'Will you build a wall?' He replied, quite seriously, 'That's a bit much but a barb wired fence might be useful.'

According to one source, the entire process has already cost 78 billion pounds. Thus far. 

From what we’ve already seen, though attractive to some, this solution won’t work. The only logistical notion is to divide all four Semi-Nations, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland down the middle. Half of the territory to each half. 

Now some will argue that London, being a powerhouse of economic earnings, will be an unfair advantage to those who possess it. So a possible solution is to exclude London from this division by simply dividing London in half. The same could be applied to other major cities like Edinburgh and Cardiff. Or simple divide every single town into two. Instead of having one town butcher, there could be two! This could stimulate all economies. A logical solution. Also a logistical nightmare.

Make Britain Hate Again
(Kind of achieved already)

While many hope for an easier way forward, it’s clear that democracy is just not viable in the modern day. As soon as one party wins an election, the other says the system must be rigged and everyone is at each other's throats. Unless people opt for a Communist/Socialist State, which may not be so far-fetched, then sanctioned division may be the only way to quell the discontent. Or jump the ten year queue and join the China/Russia Super States. Communism is coming anyway.

For now...

Will the Brexiteers have it, or the Musketeers?

Follow the discussion at ...







1960's Brisbane - Nostalgia Video No. 8

Nostalgia Video Series

No. 8 / 10

1960's in Brisbane

See previous Nostalgia Videos

Mental Health Month - Reaching for help - and failing

Mental Health Month

I'm Sorry, Not Sorry


I’m sorry to hear about that

She posted about her sick aunt
Dying really
She hinted at that aspect
But wasn’t it already obvious?
‘I’m sorry to hear about that’
They said
Sad face emoji
She stared at her phone
And it’s comments
And felt suddenly and overwhelmingly, empty.

He texted his ex
In a variation of detail
About his physiological problems
Brought about by real life obstacles
Or were they just the catalyst
For the exaggerated stress
He was enduring?
He knew
As did she
That it was long standing issues
That had brought him to this juncture
Almost to his knees
And that’s what he didn’t want
To be ground to a halt
Nervous breakdown
Or whatever the modern term was.
‘I’m sorry to hear about that’
She wrote
He went on some more
But quickly understood the futility
His pleas and requests
Fell on not deaf ears
As she had heard him just fine.
He was on his own
And had no idea
How to make any of it better
He’d never felt more alone in his life.

Not Sorry

‘R U Ok’
No, I’m not
But what will you do about it?
What will anyone do?

‘You need to get some help
Have you seen a doctor?’

It’s the first port of call
Doctors come long before
Confession to a friend
Pills come long before
Public admittance
Battles are fought
Long before fragments of defeat
Are admitted.

‘I’m sorry about that’
Makes them feel better
Do they really care?
What can they do anyway?
Sometimes, plenty
Simple practical steps
Take part of the life load off
Offer to pick up a chore
Insist on a personal visit
If only a small amount
Rather than buzzwords
Spewed out like an auto-correct response.

‘I’m sorry to hear about that
Now, where was I?’

© ajl 2019

This poem and 9 others are now available in a pdf for download, called All Empires Crumble.
All are from 2019.

exsomnis by m_tau

Previous entries in this Series on Mental Health

Thank you to M. Tau for permission to use these specific visuals in this series. 
See her profile at DeviantArt

Mental Health Month - The Anxiety Trap

We all suffer in some form, some of the time. So perhaps you, or someone you know, may relate to these.

The Anxiety Trap
aka Locked in self

Are you having a bad day?
Did they say something?
Is it the workload?
Is it that person?

Or is it something else entirely?

I’m here if you want to talk
Or if you don’t want to talk
But need a friendly voice

Do you have anxiety or depression?
If so, I get it
I’m the fucking King
It’s been my constant companion
You don’t have to explain
A thing
Instead, say no-thing
You don’t have to highlight
What’s already there
I can see it
It doesn’t deserve our focus.

I’m here
You’re there
And its in the middle
Preventing one of us
From making that first move
Into the void.

It’s cold comfort
Which keeps us
At home
On the couch
Under the covers
Our nemesis.


Kindred spirits
Locked in self.

Reaching out
Is not the first step
It’s the greatest chasm
Something they don’t understand.

We just want it to be a little easier
A little peace
In our time.

© ajl 2019

more Poetry

more Videos

At the end of the series I'll be compiling this poem and 9 others into a pdf for download, called All Empires Crumble. All are from 2019.

Mental Health Month - In the Wallows

In the Wallows

I sit
Slouching really
In the tepid gloom
Of a season in decline
An unflinching force
Towards winter
A lowly lit room
A pathetic metaphor
For my fatalistic mood
Defeated, it feels
By the everyday
The alarm chime, the routine to rise
The traffic, the commitment
The morons whose mistakes
Aim to trip us up
Our constant guard exhausting
The arsehole whose harsh words
And selfish actions
Taint our worldview
And make it all
marina by m.tau - deviant art
Unnecessarily difficult.

And now I’m aware
That I’ve gone from
I to Us
As though I’m speaking for others
Universal practices or not
It’s just me here.

The battle is very personal
And right now
I feel I’ve lost.

That’s the true evil of depression
That the current mood
Stands for all time
The pervading, cloying doom

Whereas in half a day
I may have clawed my way back
As we often do
As those aforementioned tediums
Require that we must
As money is still required
To survive.

So I’ll rise once more
No doubt
But for now
I’m home
In the wallows.

ajl 2019

(I don't have any answers. All I'm saying is that sometimes it's okay to feel bad, if we are able to remind ourselves that these awful feelings will pass. Just hang on).

At the end of the series I'll be compiling this poem and 9 others into a pdf for download,
called All Empires Crumble. All are from 2019.

Previous Mental Health Month entries

Mental Health Month - Work Stress

Mental Health Month

Is your daily grind like this?

The Grind

Slave to the keyboard
Another meeting
No different to all the others
Listening to someone bitch
Having to succumb to the whims
Of a person above you
That you don’t like
Changing the diapers of a 88 year old
Answering the phone
Making the call
Sending that vital email
Reading the meter
Changing the plug
Trying to change the client's mind
Cleaning up after another's muck
You need coffee
You need lunch
You need your daily break
You need more drugs
For that reoccurring headache.

Finally that last hour comes around
You sigh as you walk out the door
And prepare
To follow other routines
All the way to bed
And back again.

This is the life
The way it must be
So we are led to believe
The reason why we've endured
Years of more routines we didn’t like
In those budding years
Youth fleeting as it is
When we should have been having more fun
And maybe learning about more important things
Like relationships
And how to get through the grind
Or come up with other alternatives
Other than Pi and formulas
and other crap
That we will never need.

Call me old fashioned
Or maybe deranged
But maybe we wouldn’t have to ‘grind’ so much
If there wasn’t this incessant rush
To a version 4.2 upgrade
Which is probably worse than the last
When the one before that was good enough.

Perhaps if the world slowed down a little
And we talked to each other
And sat back and looked at the stars
And the rocks and realized
That we stand with giants
And angels
But only
For the briefest possible moment.

Simple is the way to be
It gives us calm and poise and space
To enjoy our limited time
While we can.

copyright 2012 anthony j. langford

This series is written from the heart and personal experiences. 

Please share if you can, or comment. Alternatively email me if you want to reach out. 

More in the Series on Mental Health

Next week will be a new Poem and Video on Anxiety/Depression.

At the end of this 5 part series I'll be compiling, 4 out of 5 of them into a pdf for download, plus with an extra 6, 10 in total. It will be called All Empires Crumble. All deal with Mental Health and all are from 2019.

Two Novellas in One Book - Out Now. - Here