Nice to see you.

2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

Books: Eclectic story collection Pseudo Stars out now!

Bruce Willis, what on Earth were you thinking?

Bruce Willis. One word. Why man?

Believe it or not, the original star of the Die Hard franchise is back for another round. 
Yep, with a recent shoulder reconstruction, two hip replacements, a knee reconstruction and a butt lift, 73-year-old Bruce Willis is back to take on the Bad Guys once more.

Cool artwork by Neil Davies
Films don't age - People Do.

 1987 - Note the hair

  Now - Note the forehead. Nothing's changed

Die Franchise, Die

The new film was originally titled, Die Slower, Dance with Dementia, but was deemed too politically incorrect. Then it was going to be called Die Hard, Take the Blue Pill aka Die Stiff. Again, the producers did not find it funny. Mr. Willis assured them, his impotency is no laughing matter.

Mr. Willis suggested a brand-new trilogy set in and around a Nursing Home, dealing with unscrupulous operators. Bruce takes them to the cleaners, with a little help from his friends.
Larry David had already done something similar in an earlier season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and threatened to sue. (Ironically, Larry has been mistaken for Bruce and vice versa.) The idea had to be scrapped.

Larry David - Not Happy Brucey

'That' Curb Your Enthusiasm episode

Currently, the franchise is in title limbo, with Movie site imdb simply calling it McClane, while they work out how to make an old man macho while not taking themselves too seriously. Otherwise they would look like a bunch of twats, expecting us to believe that Bruce Willis could seriously injure a dosed up dachshund, let alone a burly bunch of drug dealing hitmen.

Will Die HardOn ever see the light of day, or will Bruce kick the bucket first?

Either way, Bruce won’t retire until they take his title, and his cane, Charlton Heston style, out of his ‘cold dead hands.’ They might not have to wait long.

In Hollywould, this is A.J. Langford recording.
(How much are those blue pills anyway?)

 More Satire

Short film 1992 - Reality Unfastened


Lance Bowes

In 1992...

I was living in Sydney. It was my first time there. I would be living in Melbourne by years end, but while there, made a short film with friends that I had made overseas, while living in London. A part of my backpacking years.

This is the result.

Technically, pre-digital era, it was still difficult to make a film outside some sort of film school, or production company. Kudos to anyone who has made a film, especially then.

There's some behind the scenes footage which
demonstrates that we had a lot of fun making it.
Shot over a period of a few days. There was a lot of alcohol at night and some drama in trying to get it made.

The lead actor was having liaisons with his female co-star, I believe, though was in a relationship. It caused some problems as you can imagine. Especially as I was living with him and his girlfriend at the time!

There's a shot of me saying to camera, 'its impossible to make this film.' I was joking but I can see that I was a bit stressed.

Mostly though, good memories, and it's still dramatically interesting to see a person's life unravel.

Filmed in Neutral Bay, Cremorne Point, North Sydney, Sydney CBD including George Street, Opera House, Harbour Bridge and Kings Cross.

What's in a name?

And finally, for the record, if you've watched it and seen the credits, 
my name was Tony Sidebottom then. 
I officially changed it to Langford in 1994. 

Long story made short, a convict named William Langford kept his mother's maiden name after completely his seven year sentence to make a fresh start in 1833. The name was Sidebottom. His crime... stealing a watch.

None of my other family made the switch, though my late grandfather was keen on it. My daughter is a Langford. We're the only ones.

I hope you got something out of the film. I have one more from the vault (plus one from this year, 2018), that I will upload in future.


Coming soon,

Some good publishing news

Plus more poetry and videos and....

He watched her...

Tainted Global Footprints

He stands at the edge
Of the periphery
Barely out of view
Yet able to see all
Especially what he is
Not a part of.

With smooth blonde locks
She parades without an awkward pose
Advertises, without an unflattering angle
Yet not aware of the intrinsic
Individualistic nature
Of the audience.

Only that they are there
And they will always be there
At least,
So she believes
In this moment.

One receives little
Observes the panorama
Bleeds the spectrum.

The other takes all
Aware of shreds only
And not the bloody trail
Least of all,
The cost of the human footprint.    



More Poetry and 

Next week - the never Before Seen Film, Reality UnFastened. 
A young man unravels, Fast.

A new video meditation on 'those firsts of everything'

I could preface it, but it's short so better to simply watch.

Through their Eyes

Coming Soon,

My rather weird 1992 Short Film about a man who loses his grip, Reality Unfastened... never seen publicly.

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