Nice to see you.





2018 Best New Talent - Short and Sweet Festival Sydney
2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)

Books:

anthonyjlangford2@yahoo.com.au

The not so hidden Problem - Climb onboard!


(Not for the overly sensitive + those offended by shadows.)


Please support this worthy cause.


In today's world with so many crying out for attention, it's almost understandable that some causes are overlooked. But we know you're the caring type. Like you, we can't passively sit still in silence. In fact, that statement alone is part of the problem. (Passively sit still).

The Problem.


It's a well known fact, for almost half the world's population, yet it's simply not talked about. Why? Believe it or not, it's deemed controversial. Hard to fathom in this day and age when everyone is accepted, even encouraged, to step forward and be noticed. You name, it's accepted. But not this.


Why not?


The Actual Problem.


Let's not beat around the bush any longer. Which is also part of the problem. The bush. Or the concept of the bush. Male or female. Whatever one's preference, is rather irrelevant. We are talking about a spontaneous event. One that can be so embarrassing, to be almost cataclysmic in nature. Especially for teenagers. (Cringeworthy memories).

Let's not sweep it under the carpet any longer.
You know it's coming. (And with a little encouragement, that could be the result).

The Spontaneous Erection.



Hey umpire, he got stiffed!


Standing to Attention!

In the classroom.
The dining room.
The cafeteria.
The church.
The shower.
The bus stop.
The office.
The newsagent.
The sporting event.
The chicken shop.
The wedding.
The funeral.
The kid's birthday party.
The visit to Grandma.
The interview.
The public speech.


Can you imagine this horrendous situation happening to you, when you want it least?
B a N g. !


Doesn't matter what YOU want. It's forced upon you. That's True Inequality.

See the prejudice? Leave the poor knob alone!


Let's bring compassion to these poor souls. (God knows, I was one of them).

Are all males perverts? Paedophiles? Sickos?
For God's sake. Understand the pain. It's a curse! They didn't ask for it, nor more than a woman asks to bleed every month. (I love my period. I'm red and I'm proud). See?


No more judgement!

End the shame!


And free the knob!



Third place; a bit stiff not to win.


'Damn, I can never unsee that.'

More Satire


LockDown #1 - 30 New Songs from the Past 30 days.



Music be the Food of Life





I'll be endeavouring to make one of these every 2 - 4 weeks, depending on what's out there. 
There's some great songs on this playlist. Hit play, go about your normal day and dance your way around your home!


Featuring such artists as;

 Grimes, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever, Jack River, The Strokes, Purity Ring, Honeymoan, Ist Ist, The Griswolds, Nada Surf and many more.


Make real money at home! Just one catch.(adult content)




Online pornography sites have seen a 3235% rise in subscriptions. They are putting out a call for new content. They are literally begging for it. All you need is a phone and a connection and you too can be a porn star!

Couples. Get busy. They want you!




Do the Corona Shuffle.



Stuck at home on your own? Hey, there’s a market for that too. 
Basically anything you can think of, someone wants to see it!


Making your bed naked?
Market.

Making your toast while scratching your naked butt? 
Market.





Scratching your balls while watching TV may be boring, but that’s heaven to some folk.
(Some people are weird).






(And no, leave your pets out of it you pervert).



You can even film yourself sleeping. And get paid!

(In the nude of course. People aren’t that bored.)



Home alone?
No problem. Get creative! Get an accessory!


(If you don't have anything, see what's in the fridge.)



Testemonials:



Susan 33, has been in lockdown alone. "I tried it. It was so easy. I didn't get embarrassed because there was no else there! Suddenly my bank account is filling up! Incredible!
I have had a lot of cars driving past my house lately, but apart from that, it's not creepy at all!"


David and Marion 40's: "She's been avoiding sex with me for months. But when I suggested this option, she realised she could get money from it, and shut me up at the same time! Our sex life has never been better. Hell, she even talks to me now without called me a fat, lazy son-of-a-bitch. It's a win-win!"





Make real money from home. It’s never been easier!

And get famous in the meantime! 

(For all the wrong reasons).


Pornona Hub

You film it. We'll stream it. Flabby bits and all.



More Satire

Ever get frustrated by Social Media?


A New Book: Commentators

Narcissism, Madness and Misunderstandings. 

52 pages of insights, most based on actual situations.

Perfect for your Isolation distraction!





Commentators

Poetry on Social Media, Media and the Digital Age.




Only $5! 


(plus $3 postage-Australia only).

It cost me $4.98 to produce so it's literally free!
You will never get cheaper, anywhere!

Order HERE










New Audio Story - Crisis in a Flood



Don't bring me down


The river is full. The town is flooding. One resident decides to try her luck by driving across the bridge. Unfortunately, luck has nothing to do with it.




Listen below at Soundcloud.

https://soundcloud.com/anthony-j-langford/audio-story-dont-bring-me-down

This story first appeared in the collection, Pseudo Stars available at anthonyjlangfordbooks.com

Thank you to Rohan Bates for lending his voice and time.






Previous Audio Story
The Loop


The Last Shuffle - A look back on a short play



The writer and I met during the 2018 season of Short and Sweet Festival. She was acting in her first play. She was 86.




The photograph for the poster was taken by Mickey Richards who is in the play.
That's Teresa in the photograph too.
http://mjrichardsphotography.com/




I was directing my play Three Little Words. She told me about a play she was working on and that's how it began. I said I would look over her script. Before you know it, I've taken it onboard and decided to direct it for her. It took a full year to bring it to life. Not without its own dramas, but that's life! It was worth it, just for the look on Teresa's face, which you can see for yourself.



The writer
First rehearsal


Tom Mann Theatre


A large rat - Technical Rehearsal





Dress Rehearsal - The stars with their writer. April Pressler (L) and Mickey Richards

Dress Rehearsal - photo/caption by some 8 year old


















Dress Rehearsal 

The video is a small section from each of the plays, plus lead up and post performance.

A look back on my short play from 2018 Three Little Words


I've written a play for the 2020 Festival;

 He Thought, She Thought.