Nice to see you.




I'm not one of these conservative writers who learnt their trade at university.
Most of my work is gritty and raw and comes from experience.
I could tell you some stories! Then again, it's better if you check out the work.

My best work is yet to be published. Holding out for the traditional path. Foolish?

2014 Pushcart Prize nominee. (more)
Contact: anthonyjlangford2@yahoo.com.au

Judgement


Acerbic Sorcerer

Judgement is swift and brutal
As only the judgmental can deliver
Severing any alternatives
Denying possible rebuttals.

Forked tongues
Do not present
Forks in the road
A mere singularity
Allows concise
Consumption
And forgone conclusions.

Manipulate results
Until satisfaction reached
Complexities concreted
And cracks consigned
To deepest shadows
Where truth cannot exist
If unseen.



Vacancies in terrorism. WE WANT YOU!


How to be a Muslim terrorist





Preferably born in a Muslim country but not necessary.

Preferably born in a country other than that in which the terrorist act takes place, but not necessary.
Dumbass

You must be religiously fanatical, to the point where you would never have a progressive thought of your own. 
Free thinking is forbidden.

You must have a low IQ.

For those who don’t know what IQ is, you might well be suitable. (ie  you are stupid. Don't worry. This is good).


Must be prepared to die for the cause. Like suicide bombers, you are too dumb for a leadership role and are therefore easily sacrificial.

You must have a small penis. Men with small penises have much more to prove (Hitler, Osama etc) and are often high achievers


Height wise, a great bro to have around. wink-wink

Preferably you must also be small in size (see previous point).

You must not question orders. (see previous points).

You must be inspired by another act (see previous points).




You must have very poor luck with the ladies and preferably a virgin. (Men who score with the babes have more to live for).

Low IQ candidates or in this case, below basement level.


You must feel rejected by society. (You can’t make your way in life because… well... see the low IQ point).


If required, you must be prepared to travel to a war zone to fight.


If in a war zone, you must feel comfortable with rape. (See previous points about picking up women).



If you cannot rise to the occasion in a rape scenario, you may have sex with men. (It’s okay to be the fucker, as long as you are not the fuckee).


In the sand-dunes, no one can hear you scream.



If you rise to the occasion, and don’t even have the decency to give your brother a ‘helping hand’ you may have sex with a goat. Other animals are acceptable. A man is not a desert, but in the desert, it can be hard to find a goat that isn’t already partnered.



Going back one point. Loyalty is expected. You must satisfy your brother if he wishes it. Many Jihadist brothers jerk one another to relieve tension. A tense soldier is a bad soldier. Besides, jerking is fun!





You must aim for maximum impact. No, not in your brother’s bum. We mean with the body count. Therefore you must pick a soft target. We don’t want heroes here. No He-Men. Target unarmed civilians, including old people, women and innocent kiddies. We only want someone with no morals or respect or courage. Some may say you are a gutless pussy. That a blind, deaf, limbless child has more courage than you. This is good. Cowards are good for our business. We want gutless, spineless, wimpy, chicken liver, wuss-bags who would run snivelling into their mamma's fecal-y nappies than have a one to one fist fight.


Prime example of a gutless, spineless pussy. Notice lack of beard. 


War can be boring. Men play games to relieve boredom. Here’s a tip. Grow a beard. Fresh faced soldiers risk bukkake. Do you know how hard it is to remove cum from a beard? Exactly. We’ve all been there but a man with a full brotherhood beard is really saying, I do not like bukkake but I may swallow. Grow one. Stay clean. And enjoy the protein.


Lack of beard. Bukkake King, Hypocrite & Dumbass.



Do you relish the idea of a paradise where all the things you can’t get here will be available, even if it's complete fantasy?  (kinda like heaven except with group sex)

Fantasise about revenge? 

Fantasise about being a martyr? 

Are you a stupid, small, tiny dick loser who can’t get laid but likes to fuck animals? 

Then you’re a prime candidate for becoming a terrorist! 

Congratulations! WE WANT YOU!




Mentality required


 

 Horny?
WE GOT YOU COVERED!
(no, not bukkake)

In the desert, love can be found anywhere. 


One hump or two?









It's going to be hard


Expectancy


You dream
A more fulfilling future.

You can visualise it
Enough to smooth out
Its rough edges.

There’s just that awkward first step
And the many non-perfect ones
To follow.





Holiday sensations











Languid Lisbon

A night breeze of moderation
To replenish exertion
Lost to the day
A welcoming spirit to the air
Bringing a smile to the shopkeepers
A spring in the steps
Of the spruikers
And friends in transit
A mild rekindling
To old flames
And a need in the children
To have their voices heard
As they dominate the winding
Cobbled streets
With impromptu soccer.

Aromas too mixed to quantify
Enough to send vegetarians indoors
The rev of motorbikes
Floating bluish residue
The occasional motorist frustrated
Most noticeably tolerant
And laughter more prosperous
Moods perhaps tempered
By the summer like
Early autumn evening.

Seemingly, for the most part
That’s all it takes.





Written in Lisbon in September, 2014
My photos





Help us keep you retarded

Service Announcement Saviours 



Your standard Sydney train experience 



Customers, please allow other passengers to disembark from the train before entering. Thank you.

Customers, please keep back from the yellow line when trains are approaching. Thank you.

Customers please watch out for trips, slips and falls. Help us keep you safe.

Customers, please keep your bags off the seats.
Thank you.

Customers, if you are feeling unwell, do not risk it. Get off at the next station. Staff will be there to assist you.

Customers, please keep your shoes off the seats.
Thank you.

Please do not sit on or obstruct the stairways.

The train on this platform is now due to depart. Please stand clear.

Customers on Platform __. The next train will not be stopping on this platform. Please stand clear.

Customers please stand back from opening doors.

If you notice a suspicious package, please do not touch it. Report it to station staff.

Passengers, for safety, please take extreme care. Surfaces may be slippery when wet.






Customers, please do not keep the doors open with your hands. Help us keep you safe.

Customers, you do not have to use your brain while on this train. Help us keep you retarded.
Thank you.














(George Orwell continues to roll in his grave, clutching his splitting sides).




































Got a pet Nanny State Hate?




Memory as desire - A place as friend



This poem is from a submission I made in 2012 that required it be set in a real place, hence the description at the bottom. It was rejected, (along with hundreds of other poems to various publications that I've submitted to over the years), but that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile. 
I hope you like it.




The Veins of a friend and a friend in vain


I

Dark river waters
I cannot see my reflection
Brown earth liquid flows
Yet I know
Even at this young age
That I’ll always be with you
Even if after today
I never see you again
Slow perpetual wonderings
Leaving me behind.


II

The river bank imbued
With the corpses
Of trees
Limbs
Reaching out
Clinging to the water
In memory
Perpetually changing
Forever dying
Bringing life.


III

I return
Yet
My past is lost here
It’s already too late
I’ve grown older
So far removed
From how it used to be
And what is to come?
It used to be easy
But now I’m frozen.







Location: Campbell’s Bend, Victoria.


I grew up in Murchison, which is situated on the banks of the Goulburn. I spent many summers swimming in this particular location and in fact, I learnt to swim there. As a teenager, I got drunk there, took drugs there and had sex there. My first published book, Bottomless River is set there. 
I have not been back for many years. I’m almost too frightened to, in case I don’t recognise it anymore. The physicality of a river changes as much as people. However I do hope that families and other youngsters are having as much fun now as I once did.




Paddlesteamer at work - 1878 - slightly before my time





More Poetry.                          



Hype-O






Stench
Racism disgusting
Unless
Against white people
Sexism diabolical
Unless against males
Orientation prejudice despised
Unless straight-centric

Putrefaction of hypocrisy
Rife









More Poetry
More Satire



Rest In Prince

I saw Prince in Sydney in 2012 and he was in superb form. A very energetic show at almost three hours long, a man with still a lot to offer, prolific to the end. Some of his recent albums are very good.
I still find it very hard to believe. 
I'm a lifelong fan, particularly during the 80's but going back to his early albums such as the funky Dirty Mind and Controversy. 
A mammoth talent, one of the all time greatest.


From the 2012 Australian Tour








Year One - Killing in the name of... - Warning disturbing content









Year One


Cambodia's Killing Fields


A Video



Edited to the soundtrack of the film, The Killing Fields by Mike Oldfield


(Warning, contains disturbing photographs)


















The Cambodia Trials continue. (As of March '16)



Gasping







Mis-Step

If a smile is not carved
Into the leering face of opposition
The shadow catapults
To completion
Its strength indomitable
You are left with suffocation
And the awareness
Of your closing stumble.







 More Poetry.


Man sues his sex doll


Man sues his sex doll and her makers.


Kayla


A North Yorkshire man has reportedly sued his sex doll and her makers, HotBotBooty after finding dissatisfaction with his purchase. 

'She looked great when I first got her,' he said at the preliminary hearing at Fairfax Court on Monday. 'I dressed her up and took her out for dinner. It was a pretty cheap night I can tell you that. Best date I've ever had.'
However after several months, the man tried to return the doll, but was informed it was impossible to do so as the doll had already been 'used.' He claims that the doll did not live up to his expectations and attempted to instigate a refund. 'The first few times we made love, she was very compliant, very considerate, you know, no demands and things like that. But after a while, I mean, she didn't respond to anything, no matter what I did. She just lay there.'


The man chooses to remain anonymous.

The man argued that the company made satisfaction guarantees on all their products. 'I can dump a girlfriend, if I had one, so why can't I dump my Kayla? She's so frustrating. I can't even look at her anymore.'
Kayla is expected to present herself to the court when the hearing continues on the 16th.







More Satire Bytes




I'm guilty








Um, er, um, wait! Um... 
Oh. 



  

Defence-less (the complexities)

Yes I’m guilty
No excuses
Only a basis for decisions
A process for the conclusion
If you wish to hear it.

No?
Any interest in comprehending
All the competing factors?
The tenuous positioning
Made transparent?
Not good enough?

I suppose not.

So what would you like me to say?
Sorry?
I'm stupid?
An asshole?
Aren't all these things par for the course?
I suppose I'll do what's expected
Retreat to my hovel
So you can fire
Agenda laden volleys
Leaving truth to wither
In the cross-fire.




More Poetry

Too serious? Try Satire Bytes. 





Dead


         





       
 




Their cause is just... or not


St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre 1572 (Artwork by Francois Dubois)


The people respond with outrage


Yes, the people respond with their outrage
As is expected
After such an horrific event

Until…
In the days to come
The threads are unwound
The truth seeps out
The self-serving agendas
The epitome of the inner demands
Floods
Mirroring
Blanketing all
Except those who can see
Who are reviled
Including me
And maybe you
And whether their cause is just or not
Is beside the point
Because this event
has its own truth
and must be assessed as such…

As it is
With every other situation…
And so they believe their own intelligence
                 War of words - latuff2.deviantart.com
And serve their master
Their objective
To a degree
Whereupon they cage themselves
Yet will defend to the end.

This is impossible to battle.

Arguments arise
They inevitably turn personal
Interests become a struggle for the self
In which individuals will fight to the death…
How can that be toppled?
Reasoned with?

It cannot.

A myriad of shifting weather-scheme emotions
Until someone suffers
And whether they deserved it or not
Doesn’t matter either
As there is no justice in the short term
Only happenstance

Where you and I live.

So cross yourself
Pay homage
Or whatever it is you do
Say your bit if you must
But you will not alter what has already been
And before you dig in
To defend your opinion
Take a moment to listen to yourself
From afar.

What will it achieve
In the end?
And if you get your way
As you might
Will you ultimately regret it?

As when all is said and perhaps not done
It was about the event…
And not you.