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Gimme some Truth said John Lennon.
And forget the bullshit said I.

Nominated for the 2014 Pushcart Prize. (more)

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Thursday

One good thing


Just quickly, I have three poems up at Dead Snakes - Two are true stories, the first about someone I know and the third a personal experience. The second is my frustration with the rigidity of university, not simply my experiences (I did two years but did not complete) but stories I've heard from others. 



Yawn


The whole tortured artist thing is worn unfortunately, clich├ęd and even taken on by some as they try to create  an image that they think will sell or that is cool. There's really nothing cool about it. For those genuinely afflicted, its very unpleasant. So instead of trying to deny that or dispute it, (as I've never really mentioned it as such) instead I'll say I'm a creative person who happens to carry around fluctuating strengths of 'baggage' - without wanting to throw in overused (and under appreciated) words like anxiety, depression, alcohol, medication... Sometimes in gets in the way of creating, and a lot in the way of life. And sometimes it helps with creating. 

Occasionally I do something good. Yet once, I did something amazing. Here's a poem I wrote about it. 




Minutes old


I did good

(4.2.13)

(For Tilly)



I dream in shoegaze colours
Of frustration and exposure
And failed ventures
Betraying
(How I assume)
I really feel about myself.

There are issues
(so psycho-babble theories dictate)
Rather than suggesting
That this is simply the design of the machine.

Mistakes like seams,
Flaws like daybreak
Light slicing into the tranquil
And while I do attempt to rectify them
I only move on to make new ones.

Lord, forgive me for what I have done
Though I don’t believe
We must believe in something
And it allows me someone to confide in.

Damage as steam
Searing with residue
Until somehow
There was her
Without plans
And cautious manoeuvres
As though carved up
Out of failures
In metaphysical defiance
Made form.

She is better than I ever was or will be
(albeit one divided from two)
And that beaming face looking up
Brings salvation.

I did good.



4 comments:

  1. Being caught in assuming who you think you are. You recognise your own issues, and instead of dealing them full on, you sometimes "move on to make new ones."

    In the midst of all these things, your daughter is your salvation, your saving grace. She keeps you sane. She keeps you grounded. If not for your own sake, for hers. She keeps you wanting to improve the parts of you, that you "assume" and through her eyes and her innocence, you discover your own inner child.

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  2. She is joyous and spectacular - yes you certainly did good xx

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  3. You really did do good!

    I like the poem too. It's deep, smooth flowing, and - in the end- light and happy. Great last line.

    xoRobyn

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  4. The longer you live the more mistakes you make. A mistake less life, like an unexamined life, is not worth living. So prepare to make some more. And sometimes you will do really good.

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